Boomerang Kids: How to Help Them

The phenomenon of adult children returning to live with their parents after a period of independence has become increasingly common in recent years. More and more young people are choosing to live at home in their 20s, rather than immediately pursuing typical adult milestones like a career, a house, and a family. Recent data shows that more young adults are now living with their parents rather than partners - something that hasn't happened in decades.

These "boomerang kids" represent a significant shift in family dynamics and often present unique challenges and opportunities for both the returning adults and their parents.

Recent data from the Pew Research Center shows that for the first time in more than 130 years, young adults are more likely to live with their parents than with a romantic partner. This trend has been driven by a combination of factors, including:

• Economic pressures, such as high housing costs and student loan debt
• A competitive job market, particularly for entry-level positions
• Changing cultural norms around marriage and family formation
• The impact of global events, such as the 2008 financial crisis and the COVID-19 pandemic

It's essential to recognize that this living arrangement isn't necessarily a sign of failure or lack of ambition. Living with parents can provide many young adults with a strategic opportunity to build financial stability, pursue further education, or navigate career transitions.

Benefits and Challenges

The boomerang phenomenon can offer benefits for both generations. Young adults may have the opportunity to save money, pay off debt, or gain additional support as they launch their careers. Parents might enjoy closer relationships with their adult children and potentially receive help with household tasks or expenses.

However, this arrangement can also present challenges. Young adults may struggle with feelings of regression or loss of independence. Parents might find adjusting to having an adult child back home difficult, potentially disrupting established routines or other plans.

Financial tensions can arise, mainly if expectations around contributions to household expenses are not clearly communicated. There may also be concerns about how this living situation affects the young adult's long-term independence and personal growth.

To make the most of this living arrangement and support the young adult's journey toward independence, consider the following approaches:

• Establish Clear Expectations - Open communication is crucial. Discuss and agree upon household rules, financial contributions, and timeline expectations. This might include rent payments, chore responsibilities, and plans for eventual move-out.

• Encourage Financial Planning - Help the young adult create a budget and set financial goals. This might include paying off debt, saving for a down payment on a home, or building an emergency fund. Encourage them to track their progress and celebrate milestones along the way.

• Support Career Development - Living at home can provide a stable base to pursue career opportunities. Encourage networking, skill development, and job searching. If appropriate, offer to review resumes or practice interview skills.

• Maintain Boundaries - While it's natural to want to help, avoid falling back into parent-child dynamics that may hinder the young adult's independence. Treat them as an adult and respect their privacy and autonomy.

• Foster Independence - Look for opportunities to promote self-sufficiency. This might involve teaching life skills like cooking, home maintenance, or financial management if these weren't fully developed before.

• Plan for the Future - Discuss long-term plans and goals. Help the young adult develop a realistic timeline and action plan for moving out and achieving independence.

While supporting a boomerang child, parents must also maintain their own financial health. For example, try to avoid dipping into retirement funds to support adult children - your long-term financial security is also important.

The Takeaway

Remember that every situation is unique. What works for one family may not be appropriate for another. The key is to maintain open dialogue, adjust strategies as needed, and keep the focus on supporting the young adult's journey toward independence and financial stability.

While having adult children return home can present challenges, it also offers growth opportunities, strengthened family bonds, and mutual support. With thoughtful planning and clear expectations, this transitional period can be a positive experience for both generations.